The Adventures of Stickagent Man2

The Adventures of Anj and Tammy - 3

Chapter three

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“Tell me I’m dreaming.”

“You’re dreaming.”

Tammy turned to face me, aggravated. “Gee, thanks!” she said sarcastically.

“You asked.” I said, shrugging. “Now, are you ready to listen to my theory?”

“Shoot.”

“Okay. So, we both know that the evil genius, Dr. Phlemulus Alikakka lives in a secret laboratory under a bush in Peru, right?”

“Right.”

“And do we know what his uncle does for a living?”

“He’s a….plumber?”

“Exactly!”

“Oooookaaaaaayyyyy……”

“And what is his favourite animal?”

“The…umm…uh…”

“Take your time.”

“Hamsters?”

“Very good. And what are Hamsters?”

“Cute?”

“Besides that.”

“Furry?”

“Nope.”

“Small?”

“NO!!!”

“Then!?!?”

“They’re rodents!”

Comprehension dawned on my companion’s features. “Ooooh!” she said.

“Indeed! And what do we know about rodents?”

“The plague!” she gasped, and clasped her hands over her mouth in horror.

“Exactly!”

“So what you’re saying is that Dr. Phlemulus is planning to release little hamsters infected with the plague into the plumbing of this city and unleash a wave of terror to turn its populace into mindless flesh-eating zombies?!”

“Yes!”

“NO!”

“Yes!”

“NO!!”

“Yes!”

“NO!!”

“YES!”

“NO-”

“Look here, ladies,” interrupted our boss, who’d been observing our diatribe for the past fifteen minutes, “either get some work done, or get out. Labour’s expendable, you know.”

“CAPITALIST!” I screamed.

“Plebian.”

“CORRUPT, BIGOTED MISER SCUMBAG-”

“Anj!” wailed Tammy, embarrassed.

“-ANTISOCIAL REPUBLICAN-”

“Slave.”

“-TERRORIST SATANS INCARNATE-”

“Flunkey.”

“-PROCRASTINATING NARROW MINDED IMPLODING-”

“Lapdog.”

“-CHICKEN HEADED SMELLYFACE SPOOTHEAD!!”

“Imbecile.”

“MEASLES!”

With a final cry, I threw myself out of Tammy’s cubicle and ran down the stairs, raving like a lunatic.

Sighing, my boss gave Tammy a cheque for a hundred dollars. “Here,” he said. “Get yourself some sleeping tablets. And while you’re at it, get Anj some professional help.”

“I think she’s beyond that, sir.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Indeed, sir. Goodbye.”

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NOTICE : It's come to my attention that people are taking offence at the title of my blog. Therefore I'm open to suggestions. Seriously, this is getting annoying. Grow up, will you? I'm not a satanist!