Saturday, October 14, 2006

The adventures of Anj and Tammy 2

Chapter Two

...

a continuation, while taking a break from practicing eeeeeeeevil bmat questions which should be banned as an instrument of long term torture and causative factor of profound psychological damage.

ahem....excuse me, this is the first thing creative ish tht ive written for about ...er.mmm/...you can guess how long...so edit as u wish as long as u dont kill me off by fire, water or surgical maggots gone wrong.( im writing as me, btw, as in...from iinside tammys mind)

ahem. (again)

"No Marmite."

"...Marmite"

"...ite..."

Those foul words of doom seemed to resonate inside my skull and i felt as though i was drowning in a sea of Marmite-less-ness trauma. Waves of pain engulfed my toes and my head began to throb, as Anjs voice seemed to recede into the background. A red and magenta haze surrounded the office and everything turned blurry.

(Cue for Puddle of Mud background music)

Indeed.

From the depths of my shock induced loss of consciousness-as-such, i felt a slap accross my face. Thwacked out of this state of Marmitelessnessfreakedoutedness, I opened my eyes wide.There was Anj, raising her hand to slap me again.So, i poked her.

Now those of us who know/love/loathe/pluck the eyebrows of (take your pick) anj, know that, when poked, she emits a new sqeak/squeal evrytime. This was Squeak Of Outrage No. 78643, Version F.

Facing each other, and realising the Gravity of the Situation at Hand, we put aside a small difference in communicative style. For, what is a poke/slap/potato kokis amongst friends? Nothing. (well,maybe not the potato kokis.)

Slowly, we exhaled.

Exhales

inhales

exhales

inhales

inhales.........

woman, ur turning a darker shade of purple

EXHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALES.

"The time," I muttered, "has come for us to make a plan".

"A WHAT?"

Yes, we have to resort to organisation. Psych urself up...or, down, as it were.So, (speech marks irritate me, sorry anj,)

T: We have no marmite. What are the implications of this besides not being able to make marmite sandwiches?

A: "Not make marmite sandwiches"???? How can you SAY it so calmly????Dont you realise, freakling, we are doomed doomed DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!!!!!!!

(Anj begins to wail) (I begin to wail) ...female sympathy pains.

T: enough of this wailing men, theres something worse than not being able to make marmite sandwiches.

A: Worse??? What do you mean WORSE???? there is nothing worse!!! NOTHING I TELL YOU, NOTHING!!!!!!!!

(anj looks at the water cooler for inspiration.) (American Water looks back and sighs.)

T: Oh yes there is, you know what i mean.

Evil music and white fluffy cat belonging to Evil Genius wanders in.

A:Gasps

T:Yup.

A:GASPS

T: I KNOW.

A: NO.T

T: yes.

(guys who are getting a sense of deja vu...deal with it...tis a girly thing and wont change anytime this side of the next millennium)

A: Well. Well...I think i know how to deal with that.

T: (Now its my turn to gasp) You do??? What? HOW?

......Please wait till episode3 for the absolute genius and general smart-ness of Anj to be revealed.

2 comments:

al juhara said...

I do like this prose. Keep going please.

Anonymous said...

write a book and i will read it with much enthusiasm